Do not change someone or try and fix them like a broken record, that job isn’t yours for fixing, it is God’s work. He created us, He alone knows what we all are made up of, He alone knows that aspects of our lives that is lacking even when we are unaware of it, He alone knows where and when our fine-tuning needs to take place. It is no human’s job to fix anyone, we don’t know all there is to know about the composition of any one or the micro mini-details of the past, their present, and their future; all of the things that make them who they are. Science is still discovering the unknowns of humans and the world we live in, and that’s to tell us one thing, we all don’t know it all, and not even science tells us all.
By fixing, I don’t mean falling ill and going to see a doctor (I recommend seeing a doctor for an illness actually). By fixing, I mean changing someone to an ideal image of what you see or think in your mind when you see them or think about them. Many of us project our views and ideas onto other people, this shouldn’t be the case, but as humans, this act of projecting opinions in itself is part of what makes us human. However, when this causes others unhappiness, then it is time to take caution. I’d simply call this thin line of natural human behavior from projecting our ideas onto others and causing them unhappiness in doing this as Judging. Many of us are familiar with this word, as we all have experienced it one way or the other, or we’ve done it to someone else. However, the bible says in Matthew 7:1-5, which says;
“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured unto you. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me cast out the mote out of thine eye; and lo, the beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”
Like I mentioned earlier, do-not-change-someone-or-fix-them. By doing so, you must have come to a definite conclusion about them, and sentencing them to a final conclusion. Nothing is definite, nothing is constant, nothing is forever the way it was or the way it is. Many of us are familiar with the saying, “the only constant thing is change”. Indeed, change in itself is the only definite thing on earth. For example, instead of saying “B is a liar”, why not say “B often tells a lie”. This is because, no one is definite, and a constant saying of what shouldn’t be soon enough takes root in B’s life. We all are learning, we cannot know it all, and that’s why we can’t define anyone, we don’t know all there is to anyone, so we shouldn’t arrive at an exact conclusion of who we think they are.
Some of us most of the time don’t know the magnitude of the words we say to other people. There are some people that have huge impacts in the lives of others’ because God has put them in the position, they soon forget why they are there, and instead of using the words of their mouth to make these people, they use it to break them. A simple “ You did a good job, however here and there needs improvement”, can make the person want to do better, Instead words like “You can’t just get it right”, can make the person think about all the things that aren’t going well in his/her life. The person doesn’t have to be reminded of what isn’t going well, but should be reminded of the things going well, and things they should be thankful for. We all have our internal conflicts, and the constant reminder of the things that aren’t so excellent in our lives, most of the time we don’t need others adding to that internal conflict.
The words we say matters, they are the things we prophesy into our lives, and of others. What we say have life in them, and can actually come alive. Saying negative words about ourselves or to someone by judging them, is you bringing life to things in their lives, something negative (creating what isn’t, and what shouldn’t be). Only God has the power of creating things in our lives, and that’s why He says do-not-judge. When we judge, we try to act god in someone else’s live, clearly, God doesn’t want that. Judging others is a hypocritical act, as no one is perfect, and the bible encourages us in Putting away, therefore, all wickedness, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings, 1 Peter 2:1
Many of us know of family members that love us so dearly and don’t want to see us go down the road of destruction. Sometimes, we think to ourselves, but these beloved family members have an odd way of expressing their love. When next this happens, I’d like you to think about it this way, what if such loved ones need spiritual guidance in order to do and say the right things to you. For those that feel they are constantly being judged, a good thing to add to your prayers, is that God should surround you with people that would say and do the right things to you, even through their assumed kindness and out of their love for you. So that we are able to walk worthily of the Lord unto all pleasing, bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Colossians 1:10
I know we are constantly at war with our flesh in our doings, however, we should endeavor to treat others with care and kindness as Christ does with us. We may indeed know of someone going down a destructive path, and I think the first thing to do is not to judge them. The next thing to do is to pray for them. In doing so, we ask God to give us the patience to deal with the situation, we ask for wisdom and understanding to say the right things at the right moment in order to help the person. Also, by praying for this person(s), God will reveal Himself to this person(s) by bringing them in contact with the people that will bring about a positive change in their lives. It is only Christ that we can be justified, in 1 Corinthians 6:11 And such were some of you: but ye were washed, but ye were sanctified, but ye were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God.
We all are going to face God to be judged one day, but until then, we can’t just pack up and move to another planet, I’d say we can as well learn to live in harmony with one another. The bible encourages us in Colossians 3:12-14 Put on therefore, as God’s elect, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, long-suffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye: and above all these things [put on] love, which is the bond of perfectness. We should also learn to have good convictions of people in our mind, because how and what we think of others is what we project onto them. Like a coin, nothing is one sided, we should strive to find the good in people because, as much as we’ll like to think the worst of someone, there is always, and I mean always a good side to them. Remember, all the things God creates are good including us, Humans. Finally, the conviction of the mind is a palatable facilitator of the actualization of human destiny (what you think, takes root in your mind, and in turn becomes your actions).